Junk-mail threat intel
Paraphrased unsolicited pitches to webmaster@keshav.com, with rebuttals from Bilateral Persistence Ltd. We publish the gag, not live malware links or strangers’ addresses.
Fixed-rate freight from “any world port” unsolicited
A logistics outfit wrote in offering full-cycle sourcing and sea freight from distant ports, with “fixed rates,” thirty years of experience, and a promise to quote any cargo within a day. Global supply chains are stressed, they said — luckily their trucks and containers are not.
We already run a bilateral freight problem: fabric payloads that lateral-move across both femurs without MFA and reinstall from the dryer. Your fixed rates do not cover lint ransomware, zipper backdoors, or morning persistence before coffee. We are not importers. We are an endpoint-hygiene firm that quarantines denim. Please do not ship us trousers. — Bilateral Persistence Ltd., Threat Intake
Otherwise quiet
No other unsolicited campaigns rose above the noise floor.
An almost-empty inbox is the only clean uninstall we trust. Pants could learn from that. — Bilateral Persistence Ltd.