Terms of Service

Last updated: 28 September 2026 — counsel: M. Folder, Esq.

Welcome to the website of Bipedal Packaging Co. — apologies — Bilateral Persistence Ltd. (the “Company,” “we,” “us,” or “the people who keep renaming the letterhead”).

1. Nature of the offering

This site is satire and parody. Services described herein are fictional remediations for the metaphorical malware known as pants. We do not provide regulated cybersecurity services, medical advice for legs, or laundry consulting that would survive a real audit.

2. No warranty of clean legs

THE SOFTWARE — meaning these jokes — IS PROVIDED “AS IS.” We do not warrant that your endpoints will remain pantsless, that lint will decrypt, or that the dryer will honor an uninstall request.

3. Acceptable use

You may read, chuckle, and email webmaster@keshav.com. You may not scrape this site for training a model that generates more pants, deploy actual malware, or pretend these Terms bind a real SOC.

4. Continuity and predecessors

References to Limb Lease Holdings, Bench Warmth Analytics Inc., or Bipedal Packaging Co. are narrative continuity devices. Contracts, if any existed (they did not), transferred with the void fill.

5. Governing law

These Terms are governed by the laws of Common Sense and the venue of Your Browser. Disputes shall be resolved by closing the tab.

— M. Folder, Esq., occasionally still CC’ing Bipedal Packaging Co. by muscle memory.